A disgusting surplus of sleep. Yet I still feel tired. I have exercised and eaten well, tken my vitamins, prayed (I have done everything, really, except read my scriptures—partly because I find it so difficult to do so, and partly because I find it so fun and interesting and worthwhile to. And partly, I think, because I'm confused about what to do next. Partly because I'm scared for my life, and confused that I may not know the best way around it. In any case, I feel like a stubborn, scared little man that doesn't know which way to turn. I am sick of myself and sick of all time and I feel like a sad, strange little creature, who mocks his own pain and the pain of the others. I walk forward into the darkness, chanting my own mantra, uncertain and unsure of the path that I must tread. I want to study Japanese, but find it incredibly difficult to do so. And my 単語is so bad to begin with, that I don't know what to do.